In a two week period, my wife works over 110 hours between her two jobs. I drive an hour each way to work. These are the choices we have made in order to keep our family intact. Time leads to tough decisions, decisions that rip you apart inside, decisions that leave you feeling like an emotional wreck.
My wife and I have realized we needed to make a change for several months but for myself I was hesitant because of how the change will impact my kids. We have been contemplating moving to Northfield and are now moving forward with this. For my step children this will mean they will have to switch schools and my step son might miss playing football this fall. My step-daughter makes friends easy and I’m sure she will be fine. Changing schools is something I never wanted to make my kids do.
I’ve always said I didn’t want to be a weekend father. For some people this is perfectly appropriate and fine but this wasn’t the role I wanted to be in any of my children’s life. Moving to Northfield means I will no longer have Ethan on an every other week basis. Truthfully, I think he will be o.k. Truthfully, it is going to take some time for me to be o.k.
I feel like I am abandoning him, I’m worried he will think we don’t want him around. When we told all of the kids about the move, each of them had some questions, except Kendra who just wanted to play at the park. Ethan started crying and said he feels like he has to choose to live either at his mom’s or with me and my wife and the kids. I told him that is a choice he shouldn’t have to make and don’t want him to think he has to make that choice. I told him he is part of the family and always will be and want him to move with us but know this is something he doesn’t want. I told him I will make the decision for him and that he will stay at his mom’s.
I feel like there has been a death, I feel like I am grieving. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is even appropriate. They say time heals all wounds. I sure hope so.
